Normally after a gig I run around and chase people for a general feeling of 'how it went'. This time around I didn't as much, I guess I feel like the roman god Janus; looking back and forward at the same time. 

And the old calls to me, through the January Rain... Sorry, side tracked for a moment there.

The omens for this gig seemed good, but unfortunately I think we learnt never to trust the tea leaves. Despite a huge out pouring of support from friends for possibly a final gig, the fates were against us. One by one through back luck and timing my friends were forced to drop out, car break downs, family problems, work everything seemed to just fall wrong. This is why I'm a devout coffee drinker.

Still one friend did turn up... a huge Peter Gabriel fan. Yours truly had worked frantically in the two week buildup to learn the fingerpick to Solsbury Hill and at the last minute decided to do a solo version of it with vocals. Not been that nervous on stage for a while! This did result in slightly more vocal vibrato... but overall quite pleased with it. Had to thank Chris for stepping in to back me on guitar. Of course I polished off my signature tune with typical gusto and practically screamed my guts out.

This did draw a comment that I make 'the face' when on stage (!). 

Anyway I feel in a different mood... a more acoustic one (ho ho).

From the opening bass line of Dan I'd forgotten just how good a bass player he is. There is something wonderful in his style, sound and just feel for the instrument. When he moves to London he'll be a huge loss.

Our set was very strong, I even nailed my solo for Away with the Fairies (and Dan thankfully did not jokingly refer to it as about my 'dirty trip to Brighton' this time!) Constant rehearsing paid off! Very nice to see my Peter Gabriel and Genesis fan in the audience singing along to Follow You, Follow Me.

As our set drew on the constant guitar changes Dan and Chris had to make left me as the unofficial speaker of the band. Usually I'm not one for thinking on my feet whilst talking to an audience, but this time it felt like I had to make the effort and it worked. Was quite pleased with myself.

Finally we approached our last number before I thanked everyone for supporting us over the last 14 years... I'm going to miss that band.

Of course it's not all over; we will do something together again. Just things will have to change.

Maybe that's good? 

Lately my confidence for getting back on stage has returned. It feels wonderful.

So I've been deliberately pushing myself to visit new open mic nights, trust me I've been having the 'time of my life' this last week or so. Nothing beats the rush of excitment you get playing somewhere new and meeting new people. Open mic nights have given me a lot of faith in people and from a social side it's wonderful to walk in with a guitar and know it's possible to start up a random conversation about music.

Tom Kerswill organises a few open mic nights around the Manchester UK area and is extremely knowledegeable. He recently updated his website and I intend to go through a lot of his notes.

For anyone else out there with an interest in open mic, I highly recommend: http://blog.tomkerswill.co.uk/03/2006/open-mic-nights-in-manchester/

 Keep on rocking in the free world! 

How odd, all the recent illness and crazy recording sessions had quite a negative effect on my abilty to get on stage; I'd lost my bottle.

So I used the bank holiday to settle into:

1. tightening my recordings
2. rehearsing with Acoustic Moods (although we're still very ragged)
3. rehearsing for a live solo gig

The lay off seems to have made it pretty difficult getting back into things. Even with the band I'm having trouble just switching off and becoming 'part of the machine' in the rhythm section. Dan has crafted an excellent set and am hoping that we've got through the hard part and it'll start returning. Right now it feels like a hard slog.

Oddly even my solo music is the same, am having difficulty remembering it! There's a certain feeling and timbre in my voice for my signature tune (Ethereal Engagement) and it's not quite returning. Had noticed myself backing out of gigs a lot.

So I set a target, a mate was hosting an open mic and I was determined to go. In the past three days solid rehearsal normally see me right... so I set about forcing myself to play a 45 minute set each day of the bank holiday. There was an improvement but not as dramatic as I had hoped. In short I was shaking like a leaf when I stepped on stage! 

I owe some of my friends a huge amount of thanks... Roydan and the others were cheering me on through every number and it meant a lot. Admittedly the later verses of the Times They Are-A-Changing felt good... a first step.

Now I need to build on it. 

That was certainly a fun gig last night at the Urmston Cricket Club!

First I stepped out on stage to sing some covers. Truth be told I was nervous, since getting a sore throat back in June (eep!) I still haven't quite had my full voice. But 80% right was enough to do well, I really missed that.

Then later took to the stage with Acoustic Moods, we hadn't played live for 3ish months due to my illness and barely practised... but my god were we sh!t hot! Partly because I'd been working my nuts off lately recording; it felt like we had something to prove.

Recording? Ah yes to get myself back into the swing of things I'm recording a few covers... may put a quick album together.

I played at Manchester Acoustic Guitar Society last night... it was one of those nights which had a few special moments:
1. My usual drinking friends turned up (wow! thank you - the support is really appreciated)
2. Dan backed me on bass
3. A few other friends (one being the first album sale) turned up

Stepping on stage was nerve wracking but fun, the audience was fairly large, it was lit well and knowing that there were people out there who supported me was a great feeling. 

Although it didn't fully hit me until the end of But I Really Want To... it was recognised! Can't beat that feeling of people knowing your songs; it's something I've always strived for and means a helluva lot.

I want to write songs that touch people.